Found

@ Pure Pop, by Jason Cooley;

apparently someone will never work for parks and rec again.

Update: Aparently has something to do with idiot Mayoral Candidate Loyal Ploof
thanks Greg.

I'm trying to get a podcast going but i can't find a good place to host the file, i found some crappy site called garageband and they aparently host podcasts, so here is a link to it; this is mostly for test purposes though; if anyone subscribes to podcasts; let me know if this thing shows up. Also can someone tell me if it's possible to upload album art to my ipod after i've already uploaded the music?

Don Juan, at your service.

I recently came into possession of some old love letters i gave to my first girlfriend Carie in the 9th grade; in fact, it wasn't just a few, there were two whole shoe boxes filled with letters i had sent, She was nice enough to save all of them, and gave me these two for safe keeping; I'm not going to get into details, i think they're pretty self explanitory...

Take a look at this one

this is probably the geekiest love letter EVER. And, perhaps the cutiest. I actually wrote, a computer program, for my girlfriend, cause as we all know, writing an Executable program, is HOT! I even drew out the little A and C drive icons... and ended it with "If you don't understand, i'll call you later."

What a stud.

Portable Media Device, the next Generation.

Well, for me anyway. About two days ago my (not so) trusty Creative Zen Micro shit the bed; and just cause i spilled a little coffee into it's guts. Whatever, that's what the extended waranty is for; i took it down to Best Buy, slapped it's lifeless carcass onto the help desk and said "Give me an Ipod... one with the video thingy." Five hours later, and only about 100 bucks more, i've got my first few albums uploaded (Annie, Zuma, Sleep.) some porn converted to MP4, Itunes is NOT totally fucking up my file system, and i've only locked the damn thing up twice so far. Not too bad... I was definatly freaking out the first time it locked up during the firmware update; Ipods don't have on/off switches, so if the software freezes holding down play isn't going to do anything, i didn't panic though, one of the things about owning an Ipod i realized quickly is that for every problem you have there is probably one million other people out there that have already experienced it... ah, the sweet benefits of conformity. I found the right website, held down Menu + enter for 15 seconds, and Pop, off it went, and back on it came... and everything was fine.

Having owned a creative Zen for about 5 months, i feel like i'm in a pretty good position to compare the two, and though i was really rooting for Creative, in the end the Ipod most definatly wins out; sure the zen may fit better in my hand, and have a little glowing blue light; maybe i don't have to use Itunes exclusivly (though you don't anymore thans to a new winamp plugin) and perhaps it has a marginally better signal to noise ratio; In the end, the only thing that matters is one thing. The Click Wheel! sweet jesus the click wheel; what a dream this little gadget is; it's the worlds most perfectly designed interface. No joke... if last Century had say, the automobile as it's representation of mechanical brilliance, than the Ipod is this centuries... though, i guess we've got a ways to go before this century is out... it's still a safe bet, reguardless.

Another added bonus is that instead of saying either "My Zen Micro" and having people say "... Your what now?" or saying "My Ipod." and having people say... "But you don't have an Ipod... you have one of those other thingies..." (then i say, "Zen Micro, and they say "A what now?") Now i can say "Ipod", and mean it. Not to mention that now i get to read all those wonderfull Podcast articles and "the future of Ipods" things without feeling like i wasn't invited to the party, so bring it on, i wanna be playing a Linux port of Half-life on this bitch by August!

Competative Relaxation

The Great blizzard of 06' is falling outside and i'm making my stand here at the Sin*a*Gog. At least until i finish listening to the new Destroyer... so far, very nice. Took the evening and instead of going to either the Narthex or Erin's party i figured i'd stay in; i've got a bunch of new music to listen to, new to me at least... I'm still making my way through my 80's phase, devouring albums voraciously and i'm finding that while their are quite a number of complex and amazing albums from the 80's their digestability is often quite easy. perhaps it's the over emotional crooning or that inescapable and "made-for-retards" drum machine beat that seems to infect everyones sound so much, albeit, with minor variations and mutations... (how many steps from Ian McCulloch to Morrissey, anyone anyone, beuller?) Either way i'm moving through this decade with relative ease. I'm still taking suggestions however...

I just got a comission from Great Harvest bread to make instore mixes and in exchange i'll get free bread; now the way i figure it... let me get my fucking abacus... that's like... one mix CD = 1 blank CD, 50 cents (conservative est.) 2-3 hours compiling, mixing, burning other peoples music... (10$hr... 30 dollars...) so... 30.50 per mix; seems hardly worth it.... but! Then i gotta factor in the fact that i would be doing the same thing, for my own listening pleasure anyway... so now... it's like getting free bread for doing what i normally do... plus maybe i'll slip a Nest Material track in there once in a while.... free advertising... (i did all that math in my head actually.)

Lately i've been of two minds as far as my activities and inactivities are concerned, more than a few times in the last few weeks i've found myself over exerted and stretched (like butter... over too much bread...cough.) I'm kind of a pussy as far as that goes, i like my Tanner time, a night at home with the Ol' Computer, some new tunes and something to read is as far as i can tell; like a Third Eye blind Concert for Ben, or a Cure Concert for Jeff, or a Disco Biscuits concert for JB. (zing.) But no matter how much i'm in need of this time off; i find it difficult to allow myself to not feel guilty about it. For the most part; i kill alot of time doing completely stupid things, i'll stay up till 5am trying to find some obscure album on Soulseek, or more likely, trying to find some obscure program that'll replace Soulseek for me, cause soulseek can't find that obscure album i'm looking for (when all i really need to do is wait a few days, and someone Ben will magically find it). This i accept knowingly the guilt of wasted time, but sometimes, i'm wasting time, cause i want to be, and then i still give myself the trip... I'm working on it; in the end i find respite in the knowledge that when i'm dying, my memory will probably be so bad, or the pain too intense for me to even remember the last time i took a solid shit, let alone enough details to properly judge the content of my short, meaningless life. The Here and Now is good, and inherently both empty and full, (or neither... depending i guess, on which magazine you read.) that ol' dichotomy again; whatever, as long as it's enough to momentarily obscure my front row seats to "the inevitability of death." Starring each and every one of us.

Eva just posted her Newest Vlog entry over at Bunnyspice, Link to it here or go to her website and watch her other Vlog posts.

Fuck is it STILL snowing out...
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My new best friend.

Why can't I quit You... C3-PO, or Doc Brown

Fresh Sun and Snow.

Welcome to Friday morning (afternoon.) at the Sin*a*Gog, the best morning of the week... Neither me or Todd have to work till tommorrow (this is our sunday) and we usually spend the morning poking around in our long johns, sending emails, listening to whatever we've dug up over the week (currently Sleep), figuring out what we've been putting off doing all week and that we need to do (later.)

Today it looks like Laundry and "the shooping". Two of my favorite "chores" - Laundry is great; it's such a bizarre place to spend an hour or two; i usually bring a real heady book and my headphones and just pretend to read while i watch people... The last time i was there (two weeks ago... sheesh.) i was suddenly aware that i was watching this couple, the dude was like 3.5 feet tall and as skinny as me; and his girlfriend was like 500 lbs and 6'8; he was bawling her out about throwing away his orange soda (sunkist) and she was being all apologetic and fearfull; "I didn't know... i thought someone just left it..." - I felt bad for her; something tells me she had to put up with that little napoleon fucker all the time; I put my headphones back on; I'd rather listen to Madonna than this real-life Jerry Springer shit... well, actually no... but i dig this new madonna.

Then i noticed that Dolly Parton was all over the TVs that ran along the ceiling; what a strange looking woman; she must look like an alien when all the make-up is off; but i hear she's a sweetheart... reminded me that when i was a boy i found this strange cardboard cutout picture of dolly wearing a tied around flannel shirt and daisy dukes sitting on a hay bale; i hid it at my grandparents house and whenever i'd go over i'd pull it out and sneak a long look at them, er it.

So Madonna was blasted out "Everything little thing that you say or do, i'm hung up, i'm hung up on you-oo-woo... time goes by, so slowly..." While godzilla was getting verbally beat down by Mini-Me, and 6 different Dolly Partons were silently mouthing me secrets i'd never hear, and i started fantasizing... Fantasizing that i jumped up and ran over all gene Kelley style, interupting their arguement, placed one hand on her shoulder, causing her to look, then realize and then POW! boot that little fucker in the junk; We shake hands emphatically; Then we share a little laugh together and taking her hand we procede to have an epic coreographed dance with the laundry Carts and each other, a Chorus of Dolly Partons Crying out "Can't we get together, i really, i really want to be with you... Comon check it out now..."

Ehem.

I like doing the shopping as well... We're living in Babylon, and nothing says that so much as the unafordable abundance that is Price Chopper. Grapple anyone?

There really is nothing better than a day of little concequence spread out before you. And Tonight; dinner with Ms. Eva; either out or as prepaired by yours truely. Time to put some pants on.

Today's events brought to you by:

Link Dump (not in my pants.)

The Joke is on You, Mr. Van Der Poll

(warning, this is probably the longest Blog Post ever... get a cup of tea, and get comfy.)

Last night as i was settling in for the evening Eva called me; she was laughing a little and expressed a concern for me about something that had happened to me at work that day... "What incident?" i asked... as far as i could remember, nothing of note had happened at work, nothing in the least "concernable." She told me she had just receieved my Email; and apparently i had had an "accident" at work and had left completely embarassed... "An Accident?" i said, completely mystified...

"With Poop..." She said; My eyes widened... "Herb... "

Aparently i left my gmail account wide open at work and after i left he had a little fun with it; What follows is the actual email sent to Eva.

Sent: Tuesday, February 21, 2006 6:29 PM
To: Eva Sollberger
Subject: I am so embarassed

My stomach thing came back in a bad way just a minute ago. All of a sudden, poo was trickling down my leg. I hat to clamp my knees together to keep it from going all the way down. Still, everyone could smell it, and I was terrified they'd know it was me, which I guess must have been obvious when I turned crimson Red. I ran to the bathroom so fast I tripped and the poo shot up over my pants and on to the floor, making it like a slip n' slide that propelled me to the base of the toilet, face-first.

I made a make-shift jump-suit out of promottional tee-shirts and Mike was kind enough to let me go home. What a day!
xoxoxoxox

-Tanner "I always leave my e-mail open so my co-workers can mess with me" Mccuin
--------------------------------

"You've gotta get him back Tanner!" Eva chimes in over the phone... I knew i had to; usually Herb's antics are easily dismissed and almost too impossibly low to stoop to; but this, this meant war. We spent the next half hour brain storming all our possible plans of attack; and finally came up with one that was satisfactory...

The Next day i opened up the Pop and had a few hours to kill before anyone came in, i went over my plan; i wouldn't let Herb know i knew anything about this letter; only that me and Eva had had Dinner plans last night and that for some reason when i called her, she had seemed very distant, even going so far as to making herself "unavailable" for a while, that she seemed very strange and had said that we need to have a talk sometime soon. I giggled to myself all morning, read a bunch more of "Buddy does Seattle" and trying very hard to keep a straight face everytime i thought of it, i knew that if i slipped up even once, if i broke character - than it'd all be over with.

Around 12:30 Herb rolled through the door, and for a split second i almost started laughing; but i sucked it all in; "Hey man, whats up..." (Nonchalant... good...) "Hey Tanner, how are you doing?
well, i'll just post the email between me and Eva; says it just right.

hey babe,
so herb came to work today acting kind of sheepish but i didn't let on to anything till he asked me if Eva got his email.... and i completely pretended not to understand..

me: what letter?
H: Well... you left your email open last night so i kind of sent her a letter....
me: what kind of letter?
H: nervously... kind of a funny letter... about.... poop jokes
me: poop jokes?
H: Yeah... well, like you pooped your pants at work...
me: What?! really... oh god... that explains it...
H: what?
Me: well we were supposed to go out to dinner last night but she was acting all strange on the phone saying she was going to be busy for a while... that she thought i needed to take care of things... i couldn't figure it out, and she seemed really reluctant to even talk to me...
H: Oh god, she must have known it was a joke...
Me: What did it say? did you sign it as me?
H: Yeah... but i....
Me: Oh great man.... thanks!
H: I'm sorry.... you should call her and tell her it was a joke....
Me: YOU SHOULD CALL HER!
H: Ok man... i will, give me her number!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO... now phase two... i say you pretend like herb is just trying to cover up for me, like when he calls and says he did it be like... Herb, first off this is none of your business... second of all, i apreciate you trying to help a friend out, but i think tanner has something wrong with him, something more than just incontinence... i mean, pooping your pants at work... that's so juvinile... and then trying to pretend it didn't happen.... that's just weird, thanks herb for trying to be a good friend, but i think this is a good thing, it's important i found out about how tanner... is, before our relationship went to far anyway.... So do you want me to have him email you again, or Call you at work? whatever format you think would be most dramatic, if you want me to phone you email me your work number... -tanner
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So Herb is a little freaked out at this point; i think he was feeling a little bad; i had to go in the back room to laugh very quietly for a couple minutes; I shook my head, fixed my smile, came out all pleading and gave Herb Eva's work number, "Herb, could you call her please and tell her i didn't shit my pants... i think she really believes it... I'm so embarassed... I..." - "I'll do it right now." he says, with grim determination; what a pal! I watched as he popped open his cell phone and walked over to a more secluded corner of the store; but from where i stood i could still hear some choice words and i got to watch his face as he tried to explain to Eva it was just a joke that he sent; Keeping a straight face during this was probably the hardest thing i've ever had to do in my life (aside from keeping rediculous hyperbole out of my blogs); i watched as his face went from stern determinism, to suprise, to fear, and finally to regret - i almost gave up right there, because even though i was having such fun getting my revenge; i could tell this might be bother him a little; When he walked back over he was shaking his head;

H: I don't know man; i told her it was me, i don't think she gets it... I think you should call her, i dunno...
Me: "What - why?"

The Phone rings; Sue answer's it... "Tanner, Eva's on the Phone...." Herb's face drops a bit; i look at the phone and then at him, pleading with my eyes "What have you done herb, what have you done!" I take the phone and go into the back room. "Hello?" the other end is just laughter, "I got him good!" Eva says... We have a good laugh; man this revenge stuff is fun! Time for Phase two... I walk back out, my head hung low, broken, holding back, what must be an ocean of tears...

"I think... i just got dumped..."

Herb looked stunned; i hung the phone and gathered my coat and hat... "I'm going to lunch..."

Herb: Wait, Tanner... Let me talk to you.... Lets go have a cigarette....

Me: Ok... No... I'll talk to you when i get back from Lunch.

I went out the door and up the stairs Laughing to myself all the way - i'll let him sweat for a while i thought; i took a leisurly lunch, a walk around the block a few cigarettes, City Market for some Pirogees; Time to go finish this little Charade. I put my game face back on; and headed back down to Pure Pop, herb was helping a customer, and i walked behind the counter and stood there facing him till he knew i wanted to say something;

Herb i have only one thing i want to say to you........ BURN!!!!!!!

The look on his face, if i live to be 100 i'll never forget; it was the face of the master realizing he had been bested by one of his students, he smiled, shook his head, and concede defeat; I win i win! Oh it was glorious... meanwhile customers just sort of looked on with confusion, what they must think of us sometimes...
Now however i'll never sleep soundly again; Hell hath no fury like a Van Der Poll scorned, and now my days are numbered. In all fairness though, i have to say Herb was genuinely concerned and really did seem to be worried, that's endearing, and few times there i felt a little bad; but all i'd have to do is read his email, and my righteous vengence would return. Thanks Herb for being a friend and taking it as well as you dish it out, you fucker. And if anyone is still reading this long as post; thanks... it was a doozy.

On a side note, Sevendays is Voting off one of comics that they've been featuring and that includes Herb's baby "Herb and Rose" This is definatly one of the best comics i've seen in sevendays or otherwise and needs to stick around; so everyone should click the link below and vote for your favorites (or your least favorites... it's kind of confusing, make sure you read the directions fully before you vote.) I'm pretty confident H&R won't be getting the boot, but we should all show our support for the Comics we love. If you're wondering what Herb and Rose is all about here's a sampler.Also, Nest Material got a nice mention from Casey Rea over at Sevendays for our track on the Vermont Cares Compilation, check out that review:

Slow Storm

It's always coming back around again; people and events and things i thought i forgot about; feelings i thought i'd dismissed... I'm exhausted right now; not nearly enough sleep lately; i'm a little drunk too, now that my stomach is finally holding down food, that means i can put alcohol on top of it. Today i took the Roast Beef test, you know, the one where the guy who is recovering from food poisoning eats an entire roast beef sub from Kountry Kart to check to see if everything is working ok. It's like that scene in the Deerhunter; Click! nothing! Sweet... i can eat absolutely anything anytime anywhere again!
----
I was going to write something here about running into all these people from my past; but i havn't gotten enough distance from it all to sum up; instead i found myself making a mix CD as a sort of way to distill my thoughts and feelings on the matter... Then tommorrow i'll listen to it at work and meditate on it. It's a pretty common practice for me that i find works really well; the mornings at Pure Pop are fairly uneventfull, lots of Coffee, Blogs and the occasional Die-hard shopper (or stray crazy...)
----
Today i was sitting at work; not doing much of anything when i got a phone call from Eva saying "You gotta come outside right now, it's snowing!" So i did, and it was, giant puffy white flakes the size of cottonballs and just as soft. The world had slowed down momentarily and nothing was being allowed to move any faster than these great big snowflakes. We took a walk arm in arm around the block and i marvelled at how they were somehow making it difficult for me to even walk; everything was under their control; and i was thrilled - the Slowstorm lasted for maybe 10 minutes but it was winter magic for sure.

Coastal Towns and Farmhouses Mix

1. American Analog Set - Weather Report
2. Nada Surf - Comes a Time
3. Coil - Tattooed Man
4. Will Oldham - Southside of the World
5. Porn Sword Tobacco - Detta Ar Karleken
6. Low - Closer
7. Ryan Power - [Shell] angelbreath
8. Porn Sword Tobacco - White Sneakers
9. Songs: Ohia - Blue Factory Flame
10. Six Organs of Admittance - Regeneration
11. Neil Young - Ambulance blues
12. Beautumn - To M
13. Morrissey - Everyday is like Sunday
----------

Tonight i buried one of my greatest ghosts; everything is right in the world.

TheTragically what?

Stylus Magazine, the home of the over reaching uber-pretensious way off the mark music review (and on occasion, super sweet feature.) Has just posted a story on "The Tragically Hip"! The who now, you say? Actually you probably all know who these guys are; and you probably can't stand them, and for the most part, i don't like them much anymore either - However, there was a time in my formative years when the tragically hip and another little band called Phish (i just lost the very last crumb of cred i had didn't I?); formed the entirety of my music world (Sabbath, and Floyd too, but that's after i started getting high...) These guys were the soundtrack to every drunkin' back yard bonfire, every swearving back road pickup truck ride, and though i didn't get much action in Highschool, i can imagine every sweet makeout session... Almost everyone in Franklin County is a Hip Fan, and not coincidentally, just about everyone in Franklin County is a French Canadian. (ie: John Benson Ledoux?)

Though i can't say i listen to these albums much anymore, they do get the occasional rotation in the headphones; and they do still stand-up, even if they arn't as earth shattering as they once were to me; they're good rockin Roll albums, and somedays that's all i really care to listen to. Either way, it's kick ass to see stylus of all sites pay such loving homage to such a great and senslessly maligned rock and roll band. Check it out, and flame on! Link

Tanner Recommends:
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Complete and Total, Barfarama.

"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing."
-Randy Milholland

I havn't had the strength the last two days to make to my computer, I've barely had enough to make it to the bathroom to puke up whatever little bit of juice or water or crackers I've tried to keep down. Long story short, I got a healthy dose of food poisoning from some shrimp that had been left out a little to long; and I paid the price. Not to get into details but I had it coming out both ends...
This did make me think a lot; halucigenically (I had this wild dream where I had super long white hair like... Edgar Winter....) and otherwise; about health, and how much I take it for granted that I'll always have mine; not that I can run a mile without collapsing or that I don't get winded reading the Sunday paper... But subjectively speaking, I usually feel quite healthy, and when it's taken from me so quickly it scares me a little. Life is nothing if you don't have your health... It made me think that I need to start eating better... Or more, and maybe quit smoking cigarettes, though I have been cutting back on those in the last year or so... I used to be a pack a day, then a pack every two... Now I'm around a pack every four days, that's not so bad right?

Being so sick also made me realize how dependent on each other we are, and specifically how depended I am on the kindness of my friends; I don't have family around at a moments notice and I don't think that many of my friend's do, for the most part my friends are my family - luckily I have Amazing friends; I never heard Todd once complain when I called him Saturday morning at some ungodly early hour begging him to give me a ride. That is a friend... Indeed. And sweet Eva; she brought me by a veritable pharmacy/bodega of get well goodies; Dramamine (that the doctor she called recommended for nausea.), three types of herbal tea, juice, sorbet, spring water, crackers, chocolate, bread and pretzels... Plus, four of the greatest films ever for sick boys; Beatmaster, Ladyhawke, raising Arizona, and The Princess bride; I also requested Gosford Park, there's something so reassuring about that movie to me... I know that if it wasn't for that care and concern I'd probably still be all nasty and sick; I'm not good at taking care of myself sometimes, I get sick and instead of doing what I need to do to get better; I'll just ignore it... That is something I learned from when I got that narly cold this winter; but when I took a little advice from friends, the secret umka project was a Success and I was cured much sooner than expected...

So, now that I'm feeling a bit better; I got a lot of dishes to be doing;

Thank you Todd and Eva; I'm feeling much better now.

overheard

Guy: Motherfucker of God!
Chick: That would be Joseph.

--60th & Broadway

Overheard by: James Wolf

bouquet of Links

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(Video)

Fun w/ Airports / NM @ M(g)N

I got to get out of work today to go pick Todd up at the Airport, i was waiting around for a while listening to Yeti, when i noticed the guys with the signs that say like "Bob Jones" or whatever on them, and then i was like... i'll make a sign, for Todd! and i did, and stood next to them, they both looked over at me, and then at the sign, and sort of sneered, and i just gave them a "Hey fuck you, i'm workin' here" look and Bopped my head to Eye Shaking King; some people laughed, and i'd just looked right at them straight faced like... "Do you think my Job is funny to you? Am i clown? do i make you laugh?" and then they'd sort of rethink it for a second and stop laughing. Adorable. That one was called "Fun while waiting at the Airport"


What a good time i had last night; and it felt like we were on for the most part; But i was smashed so what do i know. We could have definatly stretched out the set, but ending it when we did was just as good; short and sweet... At work today we listened to the new (old) stuff; Got alot of compliments, and "what this?" questions, to which i replied... "Oh this... this is my band, we fucking rule." No... i didn't say that, i thought that, though. Cause we do...