Dancing Queen:
A Cautionary Tale.

I thought it was a rather inspired costume, (if i do say so myself.) so much so that a few times i was taken aside by a well meaning party goer and politely informed that my left nostril was bleeding. "That's my coke hole baby... never you worry."

I wasn't planning on dressing up - I never usually do - it's not so much that I'm against dressing up, but I've never been all that excited by the idea, and i told myself if i was going to dress up, it'd have to be half way decent, no "slutty cowgirls" etc. While everyone was over getting their things together, Jenny as a truly inspired "Annie Hall", JB as "Jeff Vader: deadbeat son of Darth" Lisa as a possibly ironic Pocahontas, and her recently arrived friend from Cologne Anna as a stereotypical "Bavarian" all "Yah Yah, Und Vundabar!" -

I was spinning some tunes and mixing some very bloody mary's when i threw on Some Abba... as i danced seductively for JB to "Gimme Gimme Gimme (a man after midnight) Jenny threw a dress at me...

While no matter how hard i try, i may never be a pretty lady - perhaps their was still some good i could do - i wondered aloud... some thing to remind all those hedonists out there, what it is you just might be waking up with the next morning, if you're not careful.... (and if you're lucky.)

At the Green Door Studio's party i cut a rug - i mean, i really kicked some ass on the dance floor, i couldn't believe it myself - it was the costume, i figured, dresses are just so liberating, and the garder and stockings... maybe it was the tiara? I also have to thank the DJ, the poor guy was getting nothing but grief from the "give me some fucking funk or AC/DC" crowd, but i was loving his tech-house micro grooves, very tasty. But they killed the music for the midnight "Road Kill Demolition derby" one of Andrea's brilliantly fucking twisted creations, where she took all these cheap RC cars, stripped them down to engines and wheels, and rebuild them as disgusting creatures, including a pulsing brain, a spinning razor blade studded cock and balls, and my favorite of the night, a razor blade-lined gaping vagina.... talk about gender bending...
Of course all of this took place on one of those giant "Tarrant for Senate" signs - i can't think of a more fitting use for it, certainly not for effectively advertising one's candidacy... (nice! dig my timely political criticism...) Oh, and the creatures were all fitted with blood sacs, that would burst in fantastic fashion when gouged with the razors....



Blazing Saddles
(for the ESL crowd.)

No, i didn't just see Blazing saddles and i haven't just arrived here to sing it's praises to anyone who'll listen - Unless you're 14 years old you've probably been privy to it's off the wall critique of American style racism (among other things) via meta-musical slapstick, and made your own decision if it's funny or not. (It's funny.)

What i am here to bring you, is probably the most bizarrely wonderful companion piece to this movie I've ever had the pleasure to read. I give you the ESLnotes.com's "Blazing Saddles": The English as a Second Language Movie Guide!

Here's just a taste of the 28 page guide's stoic attempt at explaining and rationalizing Mel Brook's finest achievement for the "not so good with 'merikan", crowd. This is some serious knee slapping anti-humor.

Hold it Hold it! What the hell is that shit?

“Hold it” is one way to say “stop what you’re doing.” Note that “the hell” is added to wh questions for emotional emphasis, and that “shit” can be used to refer to any particular thing or general situation.

What in the wide world of sports is going on here?

“The Wide World of Sports” was a popular TV show in the 1970s. This sentence is ridiculous, though people do ask “What in the world is going on here?” when they want to add emotion to this basic question.

We’ll make Rock Ridge think it’s a chicken that got caught in a tractor’s nuts.

A “tractor” is a truck with huge wheels that is used for pulling farm equipment across a field. “Nuts” is a slang word for testicles (or balls),

and thus this sentence is totally ridiculous and makes no sense.

No sidewinder, bushwhacking, hornswoggling cracker crocker is going to ruin my biscuit cutter.

More useless nonsense words, though you should know that “to ruin” means to destroy and that a “biscuit” is a type of cookie or cracker.

Gentlemen, please, rest your sphincters.

“Sphincters” are the muscles in a person’s butt or ass.

A totally ridiculous way to tell a person to relax.

What do you like to do? :: Play chess, screw. :: Well let's play chess...

A classic colloquial verb meaning to have sex.

You get the picture? Read the rest (doc file.)


Let's take a pikachu...

That's all i got for you today folks. Pikachu's vagina. I know, i know - you're probably thinking, Where's the meat and potatoes, the twig and berries... the conjoined pumpkins - if you will - that you've come to expect from Highgate.
Well folks, i'm sick, and i have been for a month, and it's getting difficult to blog when i find myself wanting to go to bed at 9:30, only to wake up at 7:30 hacking up my lungs. Walking Pneumonia they call it... But i like to think of it as Legionnaire's disease, cause that's a cooler name.
If you're like me, and find yourself indoors and under the weather most nights, do yourself a favor and rent this movie. It's fantastic, perfect for one of these cool rainy evenings in. This one was pretty good too, except for the pat melodramatic ending. While your at it, rent this one. Hmm... are you noticing a theme?


Short Stories (also little.)

Came across these little comics, created for The Guardian's Saturday Review letter's section, by one Tom Gauld. They mostly pertain to the world of literature, film and criticism, but even if that's not your particular cup of Earl Grey, you should still be able to appreciate them for their clever and subtle artwork utilizing a combination of flat simple geometry and Goreyesque shading. |The Rest|

He got joo-joo eyeball


The Little People

When I was a kid, like many of us, I was an insane Lego collector. My favorite was of course the medieval settings, specifically the robin hood sets with the camouflaged outposts and robin with his little triangle shaped hat with minute plastic feather poking out...

I was thrilled by the idea of being able to hide oneself from authority figures etc, which also would explain why i had no fewer than 5 different hiding places throughout my family's homestead in Highgate, and in the woods in Franklin.

After a brief stint as a play set, re-enacting various adventures and minor situations to my liking a set would go to the great Lego box in the sky, which was literally a big Grey plastic storage crate that was packed to the brim with thousands of pieces, all waiting to be reassembled, and reconstituted - I could suppose in a way, that this was my first taste of transcendentalism.

Anyway - I came across this brilliant art installation by a fellow named only - Slinkachu. Afterwards I had the distinct impression that his art must stem in some way from a similar childhood memory of "the little people". Enjoy.


Do the Math.


Recipe for Success

Saturday night was our long delay'd housewarming - It was a great evening of unexpected visits from good friends (Ben + Angela!) , red wine, and tasty fall treats; pumpkin bread cupcakes, garlic cheese bread w/ artichoke dip, Butternut squash soup, various treats and tastes, and Adrian's infamous Almond Poppyseed Cake. Last night while watching "Zwarteboek" and the first VHS of "Merlin" Jenny and i gorged ourselves on a couple fat slices of this stuff. Let me tell you, each one of those slices must have weighed a 1/2 lbs each. This stuff is dense. Dense, with goodness!

Anyway, I asked his permission, and he in turn asked his mother (head chef and keeper of the recipe...) if i could share this tasty treat with you all; they happily agreed, and so here it is: I recommend serving a small slice with a cup of black coffee and a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

3 Cups Flour
2 3/4 Cups Sugar
1 1/2 Tsp Baking Powder
1 Tsp Salt
3 Eggs
1 1/2 Cups Milk
1 Cup Cooking Oil
3 Tsp Poppy Seed
3 Tsp Vanilla Extract
3 Tsp Almond Extract
3 Tsp Butter Flavor

Combine dry ingredients. Combine milk and flavorings. In a large mixing bowl, blend sugar and oil, then add the eggs. Add dry ingredients alternately with flavored milk, beginning and ending with dry ingredients. Pour into a greased and floured Bundt pan, or into two greased and floured loaf pans. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 1/2 hours if using Bundt pan, about 1 hour if using loaf pans.

1/2 Cup Orange Juice (or any combination of flavors, such as Pineapple/Orange will do)
3/4 Cup Sugar
1/2 Tsp Vanilla Extract
1/2 Tsp Almond Extract
1/2 Tsp Butter Flavor

Combine all of the above in a saucepan, bring to a boil, let simmer for five minutes. Drizzle over warm cake.
Tip: We've found that this cake generally tastes the best if you let it stand for about a day (or even two) and let the glaze soak in. Best served at room temperature rather than fresh out of the oven.

What impact did punk have on you?

"I didn’t even see the Pistols on their debut performance in Manchester. I was not connected enough to anything to know about that. But I caught up by the latter part of 76, early 77. And it really did make the world of Roxy and Bowie look ineffectual. It had been a brilliant grounding, and it was the learning curve was going to be essential, but in a way there was a field to raze before a new era could start. And punk razed the field. And I just stood back and watched.

And of course it was pretty evident that punk couldn’t burn forever. You know, you can only burn the house down once."

- Peter Saville, Fact Magazine 2006.


La vida de vagabundos Americanos

A few weeks ago while having a quiet drink with jb and a couple friends at a pre-prime time O.P. I ran into an old acquaintance, a friend really - but not one i ever spent much time with, one of those people though, that when you did get see each other it there was genuine interest in what each other had to say, maybe we were sort of fascinated with each other.

I had gone down to the OP for a drink cause i needed to curse and unwind from a rough week. At work i was getting pushed and pulled and bullshitted from every direction, meanwhile at home my dog was sick and i was constantly worried about him and his increasing medical bills. Those two stresses were spilling out onto Jenny, who was having her own time with assistant directing American Machine. So i needed to unwind.

L was only in Burlington for a few days cause being a hobo, you don't really stick around in one place for too long. But her boyfriend lived in Burlington as well as her dog. She was here to get the dog, and to say hi to a few of her more stationary friends, then back on the road.

As i sat there stewing over the minutia of my day and the contents of my life I started thinking about "Vagabonding" and what that was. What that consisted of, and while it's alot of different things depending on the circumstance, at that moment - i was thinking it seemed pretty nice.

So we talked about this and that, and she told me about her situation with her boyfriend, how he was in school here, or working, i can't remember, and i asked how it was that she could live her life, jumping from place to place, while having a steady. She said it was hard, obviously - and she said that they were monogamous, or at least, he was... she had had a few different flings out and about. I could tell that it was a sore spot for her, between them; she explained that there were alot of interesting people out there, and it can also be quite lonely.

Conversation moved on to dogs, and food - and how keeping a dog fed on the road isn't as hard as you'd think... they really don't need much food, and most of it you can scrounge easily enough, for the most part... She went on to tell me about how she would leave her dog with her parents when she knew she wouldn't be able to take care of him. I thought about something my vet told me about how modern dog food is so potent and nutrient rich that dogs are experiencing an obesity epidemic. I didn't mention it though.

We hadn't seen each other in maybe 4-5 years, except for an occasional nod on the street if she was back in town for a day, and frankly i hadn't thought much about her. A minor character in my book i guess. But as i told her about my life, my goings on - it really hit me just how much time had passed, and while 5 years ago i was ready to hit the road myself (and did, on a few occasions.) now - i was a regular square in comparison.

I started talking about my job, working in an office, with a paper shredder and an espresso machine. "Suits" and project meetings. I suddenly felt embarrassed and i wondered why, and i could tell my embarrassment was noticeable, so i countered it by explaining how I've always been a nerd, and doing nerdy computer things was what i was good at, and being good at it, made me feel good about myself. Whether or not this registered as a legitimate explanation, i don't know... L nodded and smiled.

I talked about Jenny, and Oldham... how great they both are; Jenny being this wonderful influence and brilliant girlfriend, and terrific friend - Oldham being this perfectly smart and cute puppy - New apartment and merging furniture; L told me about the various places in the states and Europe she'd been living, which towns were good places to be a vagabond in, (Asheville, Barcelona....) and which ones weren't so good. (i can't remember these.) and somehow i felt tied down...

We talked a bit more, but i was getting tired and a little bed ready. We had really run out of much to talk about and our other friends at our tables were more important anyway. So we said our so-longs and returned to our respective tableseats.

A few minutes later i headed home. As i stepped out onto the corner of pearl and winooski into a light drizzle and cool wet breeze all i could think of was how happy i was to be heading home to a warm bed and Jenny and my dog and my cat, and after that i shook my pack of cigarettes in my jacket pocket, that i had at least 6-7 cigarettes left.

But it was really nice to see L again.


I has a Grade.

JustSayHi - Science Quiz

Nothing has made me feel better today except knowing that i'd score a solid B if i had to take 8th grade science over again. I gotta tell ya, it wasn't easy - i was sweating bullets on some of those questions. The process in which plants convert sunlight into energy... that's transmogrification, right?

How do you fair brainiac?


The Pond-Moonlight

One of the oldest known photographs - taken in 1904, by Edward Steichen. Hand colored using light sensitive gum in a process known as autochrome. This picture amazes me, its stillness is haunting.
It's dark and it's raining here in Burlington and it's lovely, everything feels muted and full - earthworm weather.


Circle on the Bus

If you subscribe to the Aquarius Records mailing list, you're probably aware that mega-prolific psych-prog-kraut-whateverer's Circle played an in-store a couple weeks ago; they just posted the video from that show, even more awesome is this video from the show they put on inside their tour bus that night! My only requirement for watching this, is that you watch it start to finish, cause it's fucking amazing what these guys can do with one riff and balls out precision and pacing. And this is only part one of the song...


Stop Worrying

"The most important parts of a film," he said, "are the mysterious parts-- beyond the reach of reason and language."

"When I asked him about the apparent change in his films--from the early, more conventional dramas to the stylistic experiments of "2001" and later films, with their emphasis on images and music--Kubrick said, "There may be a change in the films but it doesn't mean there is any personal change in me. What happens in the film business is something like this: when a scriptwriter or director starts out, producers and investors want to see everything written down. They judge the worth of a screenplay as they would a stage play, and ignore the very great differences between the two. They want good dialogue, tight plotting, dramatic development. What I have found is that the more completely cinematic a film is, the less interesting the screenplay becomes. Because a screenplay isn't meant to be read, it's to be realized on film.

"So if my earlier films seem more verbal than the later ones, it is because I was obliged to conform to certain literary conventions. Then, after some success, I was given greater freedom to explore the medium as I preferred. There'll be no screenplay of 'Barry Lyndon' published, because there is nothing of literary interest to read."

Kubrick's point is well taken. There is a scene in "Barry Lyndon," for example, which in Kubrick's screenplay simply read, "Barry duels with Lord Bullingdon." Just that, nothing more. Yet what finally reached the screen is one of the most stunning sequences in modern film. The scene runs about six minutes and if little happens in terms of actual content--three shots are fired and Barry is wounded in the leg by his stepson--a great deal happens in terms of style. It took six weeks--42 working days--just to edit the sequence. To find the music--Handel's "Sarabande"--Kubrick listened to every available recording of 17th and 18th-century music that he could acquire, literally thousands of LPs. What he achieves in such moments of the film might be called cinematic gestalts--inspired combinations of words, images, music and editing rhythms, creating a kind of artistic experience that no other medium can convey."

excerpted from:
"How I learned to stop worrying and love Barry Lyndon"
by John Hoffsess, New York Times, 1976.


You go Girlfriend!

You're probably wondering why i'm putting a youtube clip from "tyra" on my until now unsullied blog, and that's a fine question, a damn fine question.

Well, i was sitting here at work digging into this awesome cake that Lizzie Post made me for my birthday (yes, it was in august, but everyone ate it before i had a chance to taste it, so she made me another.) when i remembered that she had just recently appeared on that pinnacle of day time talk, the Emmy winning stupid-fest, "tyra".

I quickly navigated over to the youtube and punched in Lizzie post tyra, pressed enter, and blammo. Instant awesome weirdness. And boy is it weird! Soooo fucking weird. It's like something out of Stay Tuned... somehow a friend of mine, from the real world... got suddenly transported into bizzarro land. I laughed my ass off... i still can't get over how completely strange it all is. But to her credit, she did a fine job - very professional, i know if it were me in front of all those cameras and the canned audience of colorful shirt wearing smiley faced women, not to mention tyra and her "hey girlfriend, Look at me i'm fucking CRAZY!" shtick... I probably freeze up like Garth, "I'm on the TV..." Algar, and shit my pants right there on the spot.

Luckily i can't think of a single reason in the world i'd ever be on that show. phew. Thanks for the cake though Lizzie, it's really good.

here's Lizzie's take on the whole thing


Siouxsie does Paris

Siouxsie: 1
Paris: 0