Competative Relaxation

The Great blizzard of 06' is falling outside and i'm making my stand here at the Sin*a*Gog. At least until i finish listening to the new Destroyer... so far, very nice. Took the evening and instead of going to either the Narthex or Erin's party i figured i'd stay in; i've got a bunch of new music to listen to, new to me at least... I'm still making my way through my 80's phase, devouring albums voraciously and i'm finding that while their are quite a number of complex and amazing albums from the 80's their digestability is often quite easy. perhaps it's the over emotional crooning or that inescapable and "made-for-retards" drum machine beat that seems to infect everyones sound so much, albeit, with minor variations and mutations... (how many steps from Ian McCulloch to Morrissey, anyone anyone, beuller?) Either way i'm moving through this decade with relative ease. I'm still taking suggestions however...

I just got a comission from Great Harvest bread to make instore mixes and in exchange i'll get free bread; now the way i figure it... let me get my fucking abacus... that's like... one mix CD = 1 blank CD, 50 cents (conservative est.) 2-3 hours compiling, mixing, burning other peoples music... (10$hr... 30 dollars...) so... 30.50 per mix; seems hardly worth it.... but! Then i gotta factor in the fact that i would be doing the same thing, for my own listening pleasure anyway... so now... it's like getting free bread for doing what i normally do... plus maybe i'll slip a Nest Material track in there once in a while.... free advertising... (i did all that math in my head actually.)

Lately i've been of two minds as far as my activities and inactivities are concerned, more than a few times in the last few weeks i've found myself over exerted and stretched (like butter... over too much bread...cough.) I'm kind of a pussy as far as that goes, i like my Tanner time, a night at home with the Ol' Computer, some new tunes and something to read is as far as i can tell; like a Third Eye blind Concert for Ben, or a Cure Concert for Jeff, or a Disco Biscuits concert for JB. (zing.) But no matter how much i'm in need of this time off; i find it difficult to allow myself to not feel guilty about it. For the most part; i kill alot of time doing completely stupid things, i'll stay up till 5am trying to find some obscure album on Soulseek, or more likely, trying to find some obscure program that'll replace Soulseek for me, cause soulseek can't find that obscure album i'm looking for (when all i really need to do is wait a few days, and someone Ben will magically find it). This i accept knowingly the guilt of wasted time, but sometimes, i'm wasting time, cause i want to be, and then i still give myself the trip... I'm working on it; in the end i find respite in the knowledge that when i'm dying, my memory will probably be so bad, or the pain too intense for me to even remember the last time i took a solid shit, let alone enough details to properly judge the content of my short, meaningless life. The Here and Now is good, and inherently both empty and full, (or neither... depending i guess, on which magazine you read.) that ol' dichotomy again; whatever, as long as it's enough to momentarily obscure my front row seats to "the inevitability of death." Starring each and every one of us.

Eva just posted her Newest Vlog entry over at Bunnyspice, Link to it here or go to her website and watch her other Vlog posts.

Fuck is it STILL snowing out...
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My new best friend.