The Secret Tanner Umcka Project (update1)

So now that my cold is in it's full blown state, i've been looking into things to help me get rid of it, and including my usual thera-flu and Nyquil, i got the hot tip from my fellow pure popper Donovan, on this Herbal Remedy called (you guessed it.) Umcka. Aparently it's made from a flower that the Zulu's used for their coughs and sore throats so that they could get back to their busy lives. Of course the recipe was stollen, by from what i read; some German douche, and now it's the hottest thing in Europe. Anyway, i started taking it (double doses.) last night and i'm gonna report on it's effectiveness, but since i don't have another sick Tanner with me to be the control, i'm just gonna eyeball it. But if anyone out there has any info on this stuff, horror stories, or preferably success stories (it helps the potential placebo effect.) please comment!

"The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane."
-Nikola Tesla

Day 1. Started Treatment
Day 2. Hawking up big ol' loogees.
Day 3. Nose is all sore and red, but i'm getting up good mucus and snots! I'm drinking one Odwalla Mega everyday, and then water, peppermint tea, and thera-flu.

Link Dump
Colbert on Conan
Amazing Plants Video (fake, but cool)
Spider lives inside womans ear
Japanese Face slimmer


Anonymous said...

Sounds like Vermont's got it's first case of bird-flu.

The Le Duo said...

tanner, have you been inhaling bird feces fumes again? if i've told you once, i've told you a thousand times....

Tmoore said...

but it smells like sweet cream butter like granma used to make out in the farm yard....

Animal Parade said...

Ok let's get serious. Here's what I know.

This plant you speak of is a cousin of the scented geranium, and geraniums in general are known for their astringent and antiseptic qualities. This guy you're taking is antibiotic and antiviral but also an expectorant, which means he's helping you cough up the bad guys. When you have a cold, anything that's gonna support the immune system is a decent thing to take, like echinacea or goldenseal (my local faves when they're harvested responsibly). But I also like more food-based options, so here's what I'm having for lunch (I have this same cold I think):

Peanut Noodles to Cure Colds (for one with leftovers)

1/4 cup boiling water
1/4 cup peanut butter
2 cloves of garlic, mashed
1/2 a small red onion, diced
1/4 cup diced tofu (optional)
1/2 T sesame oil
1 T soy sauce
1/2 T fresh ginger, mashed (dried to taste'll do)
1 T fresh thyme (dried to taste'll do)
black pepper and cayenne to taste

Mix these together, then eat it on noodles or whatever.

These are my favorite foods for colds: garlic, onions, ginger, thyme, parsley, crimini mushrooms and pepper. Also don't be shy on the unsaturated fat and protein tips. Furthermore, take C, don't eat too much sugar, sleep a lot, drink a lot of water, eat strawberries, cherries or oranges if you can, open your bedroom windows and keep your fingers out of your ears.

And whatever cold remedy you choose (if you choose one), my advice is always the same:
1. Pick a remedy that has been made sustainably and with love.
2. In life, the only way out is inevitably through.

And that's it.
Mandy, Cert. Community Herbalism

Tmoore said...

Wow, thanks mandy; i will follow this recipe to a T. I really want to be healthy right now; being sick totally harshes my nar.

You know, come to think of it, i have been expectorating quite a bit today...