Highgate

Tuesday

Found: Survey Says...

I found a letter written in pen, and i'm not sure it was ment for me, but either way the questions i will attempt to answer as accuratly as i can. I'd like to know who wrote it, and what their answers are.


Are you more likely to be inspired by:

1. The Presence or absense of Contentment?
A. The Absence for certain. Nothing inspires me more than discontent; like i've said before, Guilt, is one of my main motivators in life, for better or worse it seems, i have alot of it, so you could say i am quite motivated.

2. Personal situation or Social conditions?
A. Not sure i understand this one completely, but i'll say Personal situations, i really live for that spark of connection, or understanding, or more accuratly (since true connection/understanding is all but impossible, given our separations, language, upbringing, culture etc; from each other...) whole hearted attempts at understanding.

3.Interactions with Humans or Non-humans
A. With humans for sure, though it is exhausting and i find myself enjoying and needing interactions with nonhumans more and more, plants are quite nice... animals, god i wish i still had my JC kitty, or Bean.

4.Rest or Fatigue.
A. I work and create so much better strung out, exhausted, tired, over worked, over wrought, comfort is death. that being said, i like to get a sold 12 hours of sleep in whenever possible.

5. Sobriety or being High?
A. That's a tricky one... it all depends on the high, marijuana traps me in a feedback loop of negative thoughts, most downers just make me sick to my stomach. The uppers are a fan of mine, but altogether i would definatly say i'm most inspired when i'm sober, or maybe a little drunk.

6. Joy or Sorrow?
A. Sorrow... definatly Sorrow.

7. Culture or Nature?
A. This is complicated question as well, and i'd have to say both, as for me the separation is only in our minds, we like to think of ourselves as humans as some sort of separate thing from nature and therefore what we create as not being part of it, but i tend to feel that even if so much of culture is vapid and ugly, it is still part of nature. I guess i find inspiration in both, i love trees and water, i need to spend more time with them, but whenever i see some kind of new art, or music or performance, i'm also so invigorated... it's all in there i suppose.

8. Familiarity or mystery?
A. That one is also tough, i guess i'm a bit of a dualist, because i'm inspired by both, i love having my own home again, it's a safe haven for me, i like knowing where i'm sleeping tonight, and that i have a job that's going to pay the heating bill, but after a while it stagnates me and i have to move onto something new or else i loose all sense of wonder... i guess i feel inspired most in the moments traveling between the two extremes.

9. Production or Consumption?
A. Production for sure, with one exception, Eating. i love to eat good food and it's so inspirational to sit and eat a delicious meal, it says to my body (not my brain) "Life is Good." But i also love to cook, and to cook for people.

10. Past or Present
A. This one is wopper. I may need to write this one up another day... I'll say for now, Past... Though, to be fair, the past for me weighs much more lightly than i find in most people, and for that i'm over joyed... seems like most people have some kind of halcyon days they go to, and for me, life has just gotten better and better every year, even if more complicated and bewildering.

11. Facts or Feelings
A. Feelings, duh. Facts are boring and changable, at least feelings are fun.
12. Anger or Pity?
A. Pity... i don't get angry very often, except at myself... but then i take pity on myself and feel better. I wouldn't say i'm inspired by either though.

13. Yourself or Others
A. Others, for sure... i've got a long way to go before i inspire myself

What inspires you?

UPDATE: Todd Speaks! (Read the Comments, it's to long to post here.)
------------------

Further more, here is a link to an absolutly amazing R. Crumb comic about Philip K Dick's pseudo-religious awakening, it's unbelievable, and i'm sure everyone saw it cause it's on BoingBoing, and i try not to grab shit from there cause it's kind of redundant, but this needs to be read. it's Soooo Good.
Happy Birthday Michelle!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i like that album
mec

Anonymous said...

the inspiration list was sarah's great idea, presumably inspired by her exasperation over our 'taking a breakup'

inspiration list:
(your original says more likely, in every case i can think of an opposite example, but i'll stick with the more.)

the absence of contentment (i don't make nothing when i'm happy, except good love, which is probably the most important thing there is, and when you are content, you don't care what you reveal, because you are not frightened. but the absence of contentment inspires me to desire, which leads to inspiration... which leads to action... which leads to repercussions... which lead to...?)

personal situations, social conditions seem too general and beyond my control. personal situations seems to imply my own as well as people i am in direct contact with, whose lives i may actually be able to touch and feel. i am inspired by the concrete, as opposed to the abstract, but inspiration for me generally leads to me positing abstractions... funny, huh? like Cendrars, my own reactions to things kind of bore me at this point. nothing shocks me. does this mean i must become one who shocks?

interactions with humans are more likely to inspire me to action, however, i am almost always much more comfortable with non-human organisms, around people i seem to always have some sort of barriers, of course with animals there is no language to worry about becoming misconstrued...

rest or fatigue? i think when i am tired certain inhibitory parts of the brain slow or shut off completely and i am left with more access to parts of the mind this society/time has little use for, this is often inspiring, though more in a general feeling sense. usually if i am so tired that this begins to happen, i am not in a place or situation where i begin to act, but maybe i'm just lazy and am satisfied when i have a feeling or experience a strange/unusual emotional state, and/or idea that is inspiring to me in more of a vague way, and i don't feel the compulsion to share it. sometimes i wish i had that compulsion more, because when i wish to, i am an excellent communicator, and you and i wouldn't be in this silly situation we are now in. but hey this world is silly and so am i; as above, so below, right?

pressure most certainly inspires me more than relaxation, but i do need these extended tracts of doing diddly-Sasquatch. when i feel competent in my task, i love having a deadline or time-restriction on me.

sobriety or being high? tough one. certainly have had some very inspired moments jacked up on goofballs. however, most of the time being high is a crutch, and the time i felt the most jacked-up inspired blessed i could do anything and relate to anyone, i was stone sober.

joy/ sorrow. joy inspires one to want more of the same, which usually calls for no action or more of the same action, which hardly inspires to inspire, and i'm not badmouthing joy, far from it. what seems to lead to inspiration from sorrow is the desire to turn away from it, hence, you gotta do something... am i joyous or sorrowful more of the time? i don't know. but i do think i get a little bored of joy, or just move beyond it without thinking/noticing. i think this is related to my inherent pessimism, or tendency to be caught in my own internal monologue, like a fleck of light falling into a black hole. i guess that means joy for me is heroic, explosive, fleeting. i am still juvenile, i suppose.
the Adolescent Age

culture or nature? another tough one. mostly i'm interested in music, art, literature(i hate that word)/communication; all products of culture. but i don't even feel a part of this culture. i'm an anarchist at heart, but a lovable one i think. culture has become too complex for me, but nature is more complex still... still, i do what i do for people, not the universe, the universe doesn't need my actions, but people may, and besides, we only know of nature through our senses, and what else we know derives from empirical data passed down through culture...
(this is where i get back from our phone conversation. my left eye is hurting from the tears)

familiarity or mystery... mystery, definitely. new horizons, discoveries, vastness, experimentation, the new. but you know, there is always mystery in the familiar too, always new perspectives. i think it is the tying the two together that can be really inspiring...

production inspires me more than consumption. (as one who likes to make things, inspiration often comes from seeing what you're competing against)

it's funny, as one who claims to love the new new and tries to live as much as possible in the moment, i think the past inspires me more than the present, maybe its just because the past seems smaller than the present (i know that doesn't make much sense), but the present is so big, and there is so much automation to it, and rules, and order. the inspiring thing about the past is the illusion of less rules and imposed order.
(there's one for you to wrap your pretty little head around, the greatest minds in history have struggled over it: illusion or truth/reality)
O Eris, what a mess! Play ball!

facts or feelings- not so hard. feelings make me tick, hard as it may seem to believe. facts hardly ever get me moving, or anyone else i imagine.

anger / pity? i detest pity. i'll admit i'm still subject to it once in a while but i think it is a contemptible motivation to action.

myself or others? this one must be both tied together as well. totally alone i would probably live much like a bear, but you wouldn't say the bear was 'inspired' by instinct. nor am i quite so vain as to pretend that it is only other people who inspire me to act, for their benefit, or, as a reactionary, for my own. it's is true that i only become inspired from interactions with others, i'm sorta like a mirror, but the inspiration comes from recognizing commonalities b/w me and the other and/or subjective distinctions and their value to us both. i think i would make a good leader, but i'm afraid i could become too imperious and people tend to quit giving you full feedback if you have authority over them, telling you what they believe you want to hear or only what is positive, which is good for no one.


that's the whole list as you sent it to me. i can't think of anything to add right now but i'm sure bunches will pop in my crop at some point. my head seems to have just shut off, i'm playing with my beard and thinking about lunch. once again, i'm so glad you called.
happu unbirthday to you!