Here I am again, at 3 in the morning, spilling for the sake of my own clarity. I haven't been spilling much here lately, and it's not because I haven't had anything to dish, more so, I'd say than in previous months. It's just that I like to have a healthy distance from whatever it is that I'm posting, (from most everything it seems...) a little clarity, a little objectivity even, at least, perceived objectivity. I've felt so thrown in, so buried lately that I haven't had the time or conscience to blog proper. This last month has been a heavy for me, leaving the band has left me tangled up in the significance; I don't think I've made my mind up yet as to whether it's a good thing or a bad thing, I think in the end that answer is completely up to me and whether I let it become a bad thing or not. I would like to choose not.

Eva Asked me the other day "Do you ever feel like the world is out to get you?"

and I thought about it for a second and said;

"No, I think the world is completely indifferent to me, I think though, that I'm definitatly out to get me."

I remember a Buddhist friend that I have great respect for, told me once that it's very important to make yourself a safe place for yourself; and frankly this self, is looking like a crime scene lately.

All that aside; I am excited to work on new music, challenge myself in some new ways, I'm looking forward to getting Reason 3.0 and Ableton Live; there's a whole world of pure unfettered sonic texture out there waiting for my ears, and I can't wait to take all these grinded headteeth and all this fixed dissonance and shit it out violently, possibly cathartically.

Tonight Todd and I were waiting with all the Drunks at KKD, and this chick says "Tonight was the best day ever." Then this kid showed us his gunshot wound.

Playing with Nest Material has been some of the best times of my life so far; I've actually been able to experience a few transcendental moments, and coming from a musician of not-so-begrudged talent and ever present over-self awareness, that is a serious statement. But Whether or not I can convince myself of this, I'm sure there will be more beauty moments, and places where I'll get to disappear for a while in it.

In the meantime, I'm taking a vacation from obligation, and time off is sounding so nice right now. I've got a bunch of books i need to read (thanks brooke, Eva.), many neglected pasttimes, spring is coming and I want to clear out all this winter and shake out the chill. This is New England, and there are so many tombstones that arn't mine to recline against.



casey said...

Brooke and I have beeen a little under the weather — sore throat, woozy, all that.

I think this is the week I write a bit about the twin Nest releases. For April 5....

We're also moving in a few days. It's a really nice place on Park St.

Also heading to Alabama next weekend.

Why am I telling you all this? Oh yeah — 'cause I'm a little delirious.

If you ever want to collab. on in-the-box audio productions, let me know.

Tmoore said...

Thanks Casey, - you two get feeling better, enjoy the new place(s) and spaces.