Highgate

Friday

My Brother, isn't the Meat man.


So tonight after work Herb and I went around the corner to the 3 Needs for an after word drink / bitch. Nothing to new or bitchable really though; mostly we talked about how apparently Pure Pop sold the most copies of David Gilmour's (aka, sexy Floyd.) new album; out of any of the other stores in its.... thing... group.... Whatever. At any rate that means that Mike (our boss.) and someone else from the store gets to go to L.A. next week and see him play, all expenses paid, including airfare, hotel, food and travel! That is pretty awesome, even if it is to see David Gilmour. We were debating on whether they were gonna just hand over tickets, or if it was some sort of label party, obligation thing, if it was just regular paper tickets, than the best plan of action was scalping the fuckers and taking the 400+ bucks (yeah... sold out, and EBay's selling them for up to 600.) out on the town... think of the possibilities, Herb and Mike 400 bucks, Los Angeles... Actually I don't want to think about it. Of course, Herb got picked to go. I would have gone, but apparently the word is out that Herb gives better head than I do... Either way, herb has been contracted to keep a journal of the whole trip, and I have the exclusive publishing rights, right here Highgate baby!

So anyway, I went out to have a smoke, and this creepy guy that I just knew listened to a lot of B.T.O. came up to me and was all "Hey man.... You got any weed..." and I since I don't smoke it, for serious, I was like... "No man, sorry...." And he was like, "that's cool, that's cool...If you don know someone, I got some good stuff to trade..." That piqued my curiosity, so I asked him what exactly he had in trade, I was thinking like, a 90 minute maxell with Lita Ford on one side and Pat Benatar on the other, but then he was like... All quietly...

"I got some... Steak... Man."

"Some what?!?

"steak man... some real prime steak...."

I just nodded slowly and tried not to look like I had no fucking idea what he was talking about... cause I wanted to be hip you know... I'm down with the street lingo, I know what the kids are into, apparently it's steak. But I needed clarification...

"you mean like.... (makes "staking" motion into forearm...)

"what? I also got Chicken and Shrimps man, real good, high quality stuff..."

I stopped making the hand gesture....

"You mean MEAT?"

And he did... he really meant it, he pointed across the road to this refridgerator truck and we walked over to it, and he opened up the back; it was full of vacuum packages filled with cutlets and "bacon wrapped filets", spicy shrimp, and cordon Bleu... I didn't get to close to it, cause I've seen how this movie ends, I'm in the back of with the frozen meat, knocked out cold and bleeding, two hours later some dude's wearing a Tanner skin suit... But he seemed serious, and the meat looked good; but I didn't have any money, not for Meat, but I was getting pretty hungry.... We struck up a deal, I bought him and his girlfriend; some super trashy broad from Jersey who talked like "The Nanny", a couple of shots, and in return he hooked me up with Four killer center cut filet Minot... Individually packaged! I gave one to Herb, and hit the road.

The whole exchange felt kind of seedy, even though it was a legal barter.... Regardless, me and Todd ate like fat rats later! Thanks weird New York Meat Man!

7 comments:

The Le Duo said...

what haven't you traded for 'meat'?

Anonymous said...

I'd try and try to stay alive and offer him some meat

Tmoore said...

is that a phish lyric...

JB: Touche'

Anonymous said...

I'm cooking mine up with some asparagus tonight.

greg davis said...

very funny story tanner.
LOL

angela said...

...and then i saw tanner walking down n. winooski. and then...i hugged him!

Tmoore said...

you sure did - then you said something that sounded like... "I gotta find a spot to Pee!" but i guess you didn't say that, you said like... "Booze is good, from the the O.P." or something.