It's my Birthday!

And you're all invited!

stop into the OP tonight around 10ish... have a drink, share a laugh, get out of the weather. You know the score. If you don't go. I'll be sad, like this. or this.

I knew it, i'm surrounded by Assholes...

Oh where to start... this is rich. So most of you know that i work for a tech company, we do 90% of our business via the internets. The tubes, for the layperson. So, it's safe to say that in order to work at this company a solid, average rudimentary understanding of technology would seeming be a prerequisite.

Nah.


Take for instance, this - This is the installation disk for the Dymo labelwriter, know how i know this? It says right on it. Dymo label software. It even says it in French and Spanish. Well, a "colleague" approached me today to ask me if i knew why the CD wouldn't read in her disk drive, ignoring for the moment that i'm a web designer and these sorts of questions should go to IT, i figured i'd take a shot at helping her out, she was new here, time to score some points.

I took the disk in my hands... read the label; well... it seems to work for Windows & Mac, that's good... flipped it over to see if the disk was scuffed up. BAM! Here's your problem. See this, right along here? This is your problem.

Awesome. Someone, actually i know who, but they will remain nameless, so i don't become jobless. Someone who's job, at a tech company, is to be the repository for the various softwares around the office, thought it'd be a good idea to label an already labeled driver disk... on the other side. I'll cry when i see whats written on the Adobe suite disk. I knew it, i'm surrounded by assholes.

two youtubes pour tu.

This is little number is a scene from the Gremlins 2 movie that was only ever seen in Theaters, it's called Hulk Hogan vs. The Gremlins, nuff said.



This one is a wonderful collection of clips featuring my favorite Home Movie's character, Jason. I like to imagine that Oldham has Jason's voice, and then i talk to Oldham like Jason, that might seem weird, cause when i read it back to myself, it did.

A taste of Carmi

Jenny and I went up to Franklin County for the afternoon; My family's business threw a staff party on lake Carmi, just a ways down the west side shoreline from the camp we'll be at next week. As usual lots of eating and drinking ensued along with tubing, fishing and the grilling of as many animals as can be fit on a spit. Oldham, opted to remain a "non-edible" and to show his solidarity, kept to an all water melon rind lunch.

Over the weekend.

Spitting out Teeth does Vinyl proud
The Contrarian does my movie review for me.
False 45th buys the Farm
Dan Bolles blogs some more Shit.

I woke up early this morning with the three windows that surround the head of our bed rattling - outside the sky was whipping around and dark. Oldham, from his crate down by the foot of the bed was staring out at me. I shut the offending windows and cut off the flow of cold wet air and climbed back into bed. A few more minutes and the rattling returned, so again i got up, Oldham cocked his head at me, i grabbed a shirt and found the rattle - jammed the shirt between two window panes.

The first C&H strip November 85'

When winter comes the storm windows will keep that rattling down, and hopefully we'll have large heavy curtains to keep the cold from filtering through.

The last C&H strip December 95'

Waking up some hours later the sky was still brooding, throwing on a heavy flannel i grabbed Oldham and headed out for his morning constitutional. When i plopped him down on the wet grass outside the apartment he sleepily sat down and stared up and around at the sky for a solid minute. It was pretty interesting. Feels like the season wants to change, but it'll be a little while yet.

Read them all

I've been recalled!

Either that or I've somehow been reincarnated as Barbie's Bitch. Literally. But i haven't died... have I? News of my canine doppleganger came to me by way of a Mattel product recall that's recalling thousands of various childrens toys that apparently contain large amounts of dangerous Lead. When contacted for a response Mattel's head of product safety responded by saying "You'll have that..."

"Tanner... have you been getting into the lead again?"

This particular product "Barbie & Tanner" not only contains a large amount of lead, but an even larger amount of tiny little glossy ticktack dog shits - shits, that i poop out, when you grab my tail.

So far as i can tell they've done their homework.

All things considered I'd risk madness and a slow death by poisoning to get my hands one of these "poopin puppies" hey look at that, here comes my birthday...

Mattel recall
More on Tanner and Barbie

Big thanks to Jamie-Lynn for the headsup and Jay JB, and Ed for coming over last night.

Turner? Don't even know' er...

Ok, i don't think i've ever posted celebrity news unless it was of the musical variety - but i just happened onto this story and I'll be damned if it isn't one of the wierdest, sadest down right hilariousist things i've read before 10am.

Here's the long short skinny, Pulitzer Prize winning author's wife leaves self said Pulitzer prize winner to join Ted Turner's "Harem" writes letter to students to clarify situation, sites wife's sexual abuse by grandfather, p@WnzZ0Rs that Biatch good wins another Pulitzer prize, for passive aggression.

Check out these tasty morsels, and then go read the whole thing.

"Rumors will soon be swirling around the department, so I want to tell the full and nuanced story to the five of you among the graduate students and ask that you clarify the issues for any of your fellow grad students who ask. This sort of thing can get wildly distorted pretty quickly. You can feel free to use any part or all of this email to do so. I really appreciate your help.

Put down your cup of coffee or you might spill it.

Elizabeth is leaving me for Ted Turner."

"She has spoken openly in her work and in her public life of the fact that she was molested by her grandfather from an early age, a molestation that was known and tacitly condoned by her radically Evangelical Christian parents."

"And it is very common for a woman to be drawn to men who remind them of their childhood abusers. Ted is such a man, though fortunately, he is far from being abusive."

"Further, Elizabeth has never been able to step out of the shadow of the Pulitzer. As you know-and she knows-I have been an avid admirer and supporter of her work."

"She will not be Ted's only girlfriend. Ted is permanently and avowedly non-monogamous. But though he has several girlfriends, it is a very small number..."

Maybe he's genuinely happy for her and Ted.... Nahhhh....

|The Rest|

Let's Go Camping and...

You're all invited. ALL of you. (Jenny's note: Everyone? that sounds creepy, what if like, there's some obsessed weirdo with pictures of you on his wall and wants to go all sleepaway camp on us...) That means you, reading this right now, you're invited. (providing i know you, from real life, somehow. And your not gonna show up and kill us all.) Invited to get the hell out of Dodge, for an afternoon, for the night, for a few nights, or if you find enough time from your day to day, for the week.

Here's the scoop. I've got the run of this huge log cabin in a nice remote spot on Lake Carmi up from the 25th of this month, to the 1st of the next, Saturday to Saturday, Sunny unfettered day to sunny unfettered day. I want you all to be there, if you can make it.

This log cabin is amazing; open style with a huge living room, 3 big bedrooms (6 beds), two porches, one closed in for those storm watching nights, grill, dock, fire pit, kayaks, boat, tubes. Water, grass, stone, tree, leaf and oar. It's all there really; just bring something to contribute; a cash donation, food and drink for everyone to share, swimwear, hiking gear, Canoes, lawn darts (that's right, this is Franklin county!) or something to sleep on/in, and if you can't wrangle anything but yourselves, that's great too.

The accommodations are first rate; if you wanna rough it, sleep outside, but inside, its pretty swanky. there's a couple bathrooms, a fully functioning kitchen, microwave, range, oven, sink, dishwasher, couches, fridge, TV/DVD, wood fireplace, balcony, and even air conditioning. But i can't imagine we'd sink so low as to sit indoors with the AC on watching DVDs. Unless, of course, it's "The Great Outdoors."

Here is the google Map - it's a pretty straight shot North on 89 till you get to Ol' Saint A. then you get off and are treated to a nice North Country drive through parts of Highgate, Sheldon, Shawville, and Franklin. If you have anymore questions, or plan on coming down please email me here.

Also, Saturday the 25th, is the official end of summer/Tanner's Birthday/Jay's Birthday/Fuck it, it's everyone's birthday, cause everyone seems to have been conceived in the dead of winter... Party. So if you're gonna be here, be here, then. We'll be whooping it up proper; just us kids.

Hope to see you all there, and here's to getting the hell out of dodge!

Max/MSP eat your heart out

Like so many technology/music nerds, i've always enjoyed exploring different ways of combining my love of the two into one; i remember being in junior high and getting my hands on my first pirated copies of Fruity loops and ACID! Spending hours mixing loops, and cutting up beats... eventually it would lead me to world wide fame and adoration after i single-handedly invented electronic music and sample based hip hop. Please, please, save your applause, for the homeless; they do need it so.

Well, now someones gone and made the coolest thing ever. Watch the video, then read the rest over at |wired|

A walk through my new apartment

We're on the second floor; so we have this gorgeous entryway/staircase.
That's Jenny's Wandering Jew.

Then up and around to the landing, this is where i keep my "Nerd Nook" and our nice little sitting/reading area with the record player... cozy.

Jenny's cowgirl boots.

Nerd Nook/ Music collection...

Comes a time... when you're driftin'
Comes a time... When you settle down...
Thought i'd sing a little Neil for ya..

At this point little Oldham rolls over from one of his many long naps in front of the fan to see what what going on...

Then there's the the Den/living room; we're still working on getting this one organized; but we've got a basic idea... have you noticed how many windows we have yet? It's so sunny in this apartment, and i've only shown you the North facing side of the house.

Then down around our little hallway, that's our kitchen - it gets really nice light.

Straight ahead and to the left; is Jenny's bathroom - to the right the kitchen.

This is Jenny's bathroom; i have my own off of our bedroom; but she opted for the claw foot tub; i don't blame her.

Yeah kitchen. Yeah Kitchen i can cook in, AND eat in. With 3 windows...

Our apartment is still under construction in small ways... like, how we still don't have gas yet. or a proper counter top...

And then our bedroom; it's mighty spacious; and makes for some wonderful mornings being surround by 3 big windows... i'm going to invest in a blindfold actually. It's JC Penny's favorite room in the house, and Jenny's as well.

As you can see.

What a week.

What a week. Sorry i haven't updated lately - but I've had zero free time lately. And the heat... oh the heat. I forgot we get this kind of heat in Vermont, i was feeling spoiled by the nice mild / rainy summer weather we've been having. Pictures are coming soon; maybe some video - all things considered I'm ecstatic about my life right now, if i don't seem it, it's been cause i haven't had a fitful night sleep in what feels like a week.

Oldham's here! and he's settling in like a trooper; i was expecting theatrics and histrionics from the get go, but i haven't heard a peep out of him, the ride home he just sat on my lap, watching the trees go by out the window, and looking up at me with calm questioning eyes. He's eating well; sleeping alot, happy and playful most the time, and completely calm and curious about everything... he's gonna be a lady killer, i just know it.

The apartment is beautiful; so I know, and so the comcast guy said, after he had a nice little walk around, and after he used my bathroom and asked for a glass of water. I had mentally drawn the line at asking for a back rub... still havn't gotten the internet working at home though; something to do with my Vista installation i bet. Gotta love Microsoft...

Ok, back to work - gonna go walk the little dude here in a minute, he's staying with Jenny at Scribbles and Co. for now, since it's been too damn hot lately to crate his super mountain dog fur'd body at home without feeling insanely guilty. If you're walking downtown, stop in and stay hi to the little guy. Tell em, Tanner sent ya. In the meantime... check out my Twitter box (does that sound dirty to you?) over to the right, it's alot of fun... Oh and Congrats Scribbles and Pure Pop for winning Daysies! see ya tonight at the party!

And Zep, begot Manowar, and Manowar begot....

Someone has put together a rather complicated genealogy of metal - spanning from early/proto metalheads like Zep, Blue Cheer, and MC5, down through First wave black metal, and further on down to the current trends of New American Metal, including the likes of Lamb of God and Mastodon. While I'm sure any metal fan worth there salt (or worth their tour shirt, spiked wrist bands, corpse paint, jean jacket, shaved head, et al....) will find some issue to take up with the creator's generalizations and lineages, it's still alot of fun trying to trace the connection of, say - Uriah Heep to Opeth.

Click here for the full page.
Bonus chart!

Kanye, Oldham and Galifianakis - Together again, for the first time.

Probably the greatest thing i've ever seen. Probably.
Here's the vid.

more info here, and here.
"Mad props" to Faith for the "heads up".

Why?

Because i know you wanna see em, just as much as i do.
You big ol' softy you.

I bet you wish you got to do this too... I don't blame you,
it's pretty awesome.

Dynasty Dump Sale

I present to you...

Oldham!
(the Bernese Pup)

It was awfully rainy out tonight but little Oldham didn't care, he's got a heavy mountain dog coat and was having a good time dive bombing and rolling around in the high meadows on Stan & Families Cow farm, plus he had all 8 of his siblings to keep him company.

Check out his vids and you too can crinkle your nose up and make exasperating remarks in a funny voice...


He's having fun chewing on my dad's leather boot.

Friday food for thought.

Yes... That's Jefferson Davis's portrait up there, and no, i'm not going to blog about how awesome North & South is, and it is. This is the latest Olbermann rant, and one of his best i've heard in a while... I bet you're wondering how Jefferson Davis factors into the whole thing...
In other news, Jenny and i are going down to finally meet the new Puppers, i met him once already, but only in passing and i wasn't sure who was who at the time. I'll be sure to take pictures!

Tanner McCuin: 25 year old vinyl collector.

I thought i'd get away with it Scott-free, i mean who watches the local news anymore, besides my Grandma and Jay? Even if it is helmed by the inimitable and awesome-named Marcellus Parsons('s's's's's's's) and features the sexy/sultry Scarlett to his Duke, Sharron "I was totally spotted drunkeating at Denny's at 3am, with a dude sporting a very prominent topknot " Meyers.

I guess Anson Tebits can be Snake-eyes...

Anyway. I'm on the TV!

Does this guy know how to Party or what?!

"The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads; it has been furthered by gay fellows who heaved dead cats into sanctuaries and then went roistering down the highways of the world, proving to all men that doubt, after all, was safe -- that the god in the sanctuary was finite in his power and hence a fraud." -???????

I also suggest a reading of Herb and Cooley's adventure.

Letters, unfettered.

According to The Independent, upon the death of a prominent Swiss Lawyer Albin Schram, a collection of personal letters was found in his home, and will soon enough be be auctioned off - I find these glimpses into the personal exchanges of public figures to be wonderfully voyeuristic, here are few select cuts:

Ernest Hemingway to Ezra Pound, July 1925. A satirical diatribe on the virtues of bulls, written at Burguete, Spain, on the way to Pamplona.

"Bulls at least are not the greatest stylists in English. No bull has ever been a political exile. Bulls don't run reviews. Bulls of 25 don't marry old women of 55 and expect to be invited to dinner. Bulls do not get you cited as co-respondent in divorce trials. Bulls do not borrow money. Bulls do not expect you to marry them and make an honest woman of them. Bulls are edible after they have been killed. Fewer bulls are homosexual. To me bulls ain't exotic. They are normal. And such a goddam relief from all this horseshit about Art etc... To hell with delicate studies of the American scene. Fuck the American scene. Fuck manners, customs, all that horseshit. Let us have more and better fucking, fighting, and bulls."

Oscar Wilde's thankyou letter to Emily Wren, whose son Chrissie had sent a seasonal gift, dated 13 December 1888.

"I cannot tell you how charmed I am with Chrissie's present. It is a very sweet picture of him, and I prize it very much in memory of my little friend. I have considered it my duty to write him a letter expressing my gratitude... Give my regards to your husband."

|The Rest|

And in other news...

I always thought things were getting worse...
I guess I might be wrong?
and i thought i was the only one to have lived with a
crazy roomate...