Either that or I've somehow been reincarnated as Barbie's Bitch. Literally. But i haven't died... have I? News of my canine doppleganger came to me by way of a Mattel product recall that's recalling thousands of various childrens toys that apparently contain large amounts of dangerous Lead. When contacted for a response Mattel's head of product safety responded by saying "You'll have that..."
This particular product "Barbie & Tanner" not only contains a large amount of lead, but an even larger amount of tiny little glossy ticktack dog shits - shits, that i poop out, when you grab my tail.
So far as i can tell they've done their homework.
All things considered I'd risk madness and a slow death by poisoning to get my hands one of these "poopin puppies" hey look at that, here comes my birthday...